No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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