You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize