Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
