Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize