i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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