The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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