Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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