turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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