Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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