She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
