I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
