do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That accounts for only three of the penises
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
