i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
