physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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