I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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