Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
