If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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