Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You smell like stripper and shame
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
