So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
