Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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