I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
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We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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