So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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