Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize