My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
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