so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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