I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
