Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?

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(314): View more from Missouri

I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.

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(661): View more from California

She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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(760): View more from California

I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..

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