please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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