So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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