The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
