We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
