how can u be prego again
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
