I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
