I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
