I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
