bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
