it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
