when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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