We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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