READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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