Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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