Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The adults are the big ones right?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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