i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize