Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
