and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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