I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
