ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
