Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
