I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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