Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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