Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
