Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
