You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
