I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
