I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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