Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize