I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
