Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Terrible idea I love it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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