Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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