Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize