so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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