The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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