She's JV to your varsity
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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