I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
