THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
