My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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