Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
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I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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