I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
