ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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